Sunday, October 18, 2009

WOW! What an exciting fun party! Best year ever. All the cosmic energies aligned for the perfect night. The fires were warm. The company was warmer. I did struggle with my equilibrium, but that was hardly my fault.

What an amazing, magical and dynamic experience. I achieved a level of clarity about who I am and how I relate to the universe. I can make certain experiences about me and still fulfill my healing arts and return gifts to the earth.

Stunning.

Truly stunning.

Thank you for the magical moment.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Melancholy

I feel so conflicted. I want & need for nothing. I can accomplish anything. Yet, I find myself longing for more. Wishing for the years and things I missed that others had. I crave some levels of emotional connection.

I facilitated a process today. I was unfamiliar with the format. But that really mattered little. I did my best to lead my team. We finished ahead of the game. But that really means little.

I crave emotional connection, for some one to reach back.

I love Jen. She is my soul mate. I could ask for nothing better. She understands me better than anyone else. I have three beautiful children. Nothing could compete with that.

However, I missed some critical experiences in my youth. I get I am probably better for it but, I missed it none the less. A know an incredible breakthrough awaits me in some mindless selfish act.

That’s the conflict. I feel as though I am here to give to others and have followed that pattern for so long I cannot mentally undo it.

Will I?

Ever?