WOW! What an exciting fun party! Best year ever. All the cosmic energies aligned for the perfect night. The fires were warm. The company was warmer. I did struggle with my equilibrium, but that was hardly my fault.

What an amazing, magical and dynamic experience. I achieved a level of clarity about who I am and how I relate to the universe. I can make certain experiences about me and still fulfill my healing arts and return gifts to the earth.

Stunning.

Truly stunning.

Thank you for the magical moment.

Melancholy

I feel so conflicted. I want & need for nothing. I can accomplish anything. Yet, I find myself longing for more. Wishing for the years and things I missed that others had. I crave some levels of emotional connection.

I facilitated a process today. I was unfamiliar with the format. But that really mattered little. I did my best to lead my team. We finished ahead of the game. But that really means little.

I crave emotional connection, for some one to reach back.

I love Jen. She is my soul mate. I could ask for nothing better. She understands me better than anyone else. I have three beautiful children. Nothing could compete with that.

However, I missed some critical experiences in my youth. I get I am probably better for it but, I missed it none the less. A know an incredible breakthrough awaits me in some mindless selfish act.

That’s the conflict. I feel as though I am here to give to others and have followed that pattern for so long I cannot mentally undo it.

Will I?

Ever?