I feel so conflicted. I want & need for nothing. I can accomplish anything. Yet, I find myself longing for more. Wishing for the years and things I missed that others had. I crave some levels of emotional connection.
I facilitated a process today. I was unfamiliar with the format. But that really mattered little. I did my best to lead my team. We finished ahead of the game. But that really means little.
I crave emotional connection, for some one to reach back.
I love Jen. She is my soul mate. I could ask for nothing better. She understands me better than anyone else. I have three beautiful children. Nothing could compete with that.
However, I missed some critical experiences in my youth. I get I am probably better for it but, I missed it none the less. A know an incredible breakthrough awaits me in some mindless selfish act.
That’s the conflict. I feel as though I am here to give to others and have followed that pattern for so long I cannot mentally undo it.
Will I?
Ever?
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